A Thinking Person

 It happens in the automotive industry with a striking regularity.  Cars, trucks, vans, even SUVs are recalled because of defective parts.  Recently it happened to me.  I received this letter from the Ford Motor Company.  “Dear Mr.Ed Young.  This notice is sent to you in accordance with the requirements of the National Traffic and Motor Vehicles Safety Act.  Ford Motor Company has decided that certain 1999 super duty F250 and F350 trucks failed to conform to Federal motor vehicle safety standard no. 301.  During fuel system integrity testing, fuel may leak at a higher rate than allowed by regulation.  Call your dealer without delay.  Ask for a service date and whether parts are in stock for safety recall 99F11.”

When I received this letter, I didn’t ignore it.  I got the problem fixed.  A thinking person wouldn’t entertain the thought of ignoring a recall letter.  Today I want to talk to you about something that is defective, about something that needs to be recalled.  It is not about an automobile.  It is about something much more important than that.  It is about dating.  Most of the dating that is done today is defective.  Think about it.  Would you drive a defective car?  Would you tool around in a car that has a part that could endanger your life and the lives of others?  No, you are saying to yourself.  Yet far too many of us date in a defective way endangering our lives and the lives of others.

Problem in the Language of Love

All of us, we’re in touch, we’re in tune with our musical preferences.  We know where our CDs are, the tape players, the graphic equalizers are programmed just so.  What if, though, I asked you to list your love preferences?  What station you’re tuned into concerning expressing love, what flavor do you like to listen to?  I bet if I really asked you that question, I would receive a sea of blank stares.  I think it’s much more important, and I think you would agree with me, to be in touch with your love preferences than your musical preferences.  Five years ago, I was sitting on the beach at South Padre Island with a young junior high student, his name was Will.  Will was talking to me about his father.  He said, “Ed Young, my father doesn’t really love me.  He doesn’t love me,” and he began to weep.  I said, “Will, your father loves you.  I know your father.  He talks about you all the time. 

You’re the apple of his eye.  He treasures you.”  And he says, “No, he doesn’t.  He doesn’t.”  I thought, “Is this young man lying to me?  Was his father lying to me?  Is there a lack of love in this relationship?”  The answer is “no”.  There was love in the relationship.  The problem was in the expression of love, in the language of love.  The father was tuned-in to highbrow classical when his son needed “Young Country”.  The language of love.  That’s a problem that we all deal with, isn’t it?  In marriages, amongst friends, parent/child relationships, at the marketplace.